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poem: silence shimmering

September 25, 2008 Leave a comment Go to comments

hidden lightning glows behind the distant clouds

one raindrop trembles at the tip of a leaf

nightfall drifts in through the open window

dim light, faded pigments on old photographs

wandering in long-forgotten memories

I linked this poem to the readwritepoem blog, where there is a weekly poetry “prompt” inviting people to submit poems on a new theme each week. This week’s theme was word fishing, “fishing” out one word from each of five poems from a favorite poet, and using those words to inspire creation of a new poem. (You can read other poets’ submissions on the theme at the blog too.)

The poems I fished from were some of my favorite haiku by Basho:

temple bells echo into silence
the fragrant blossoms remain –
a perfect evening!

heat shimmering
one or two inches
above the dead grass

heron’s cry
stabs the darkness

the mountain rose trembles
falling petal by petal –
waterfall’s thunder

on a withered branch
a crow alights –
autumn nightfall

first snow
barely enough to bend
the leaves of faded daffodils

falling sick on a journey
my dream goes wandering
over a field of dried grass

OK, so that’s seven poems, but I couldn’t bear to part with any of them, and of course as haiku they’re so short :-). From them, I selected the words silence, shimmering, lightning, trembles, nightfall, faded, and wandering, to inspire me in creating a new poem.

  1. September 25, 2008 at 12:28 am

    I like the way you chose seven Haiku and then fished two words for the title and those long forgotten memories…

  2. September 25, 2008 at 2:19 am

    I love haiku and these are beautiful. I particularly like the first and fourth where there’s what we’d call in English, a turn. I can’t remember the correct terminology.

  3. September 25, 2008 at 5:42 am

    Great way to go about it. Very neat.


  4. September 25, 2008 at 10:51 am

    The haiku you chose to use for inspiration are truly inspirational. No wonder your poem turned out so nicely. I especially liked the fourth line. Well done. Have a nice day.

  5. Pip
    September 25, 2008 at 11:55 pm

    I’ve read that haiku are supposed to contain a reference to the seasons and this seems very appropriately autumnal to me. Very nicely formed!

  6. September 26, 2008 at 4:12 am

    This is just lovely. “trembles at the tip of a leaf” is wonderful.

  7. Secret Admirer
    September 26, 2008 at 6:01 pm

    I adore this one. I can smell the rain, and the storm that’s coming or just ended.

  8. September 27, 2008 at 11:31 am

    One can get the feeling of a pinefully rainy night.

  9. September 29, 2008 at 10:47 pm

    it does feel like late summer early fall…

    i like how nightfall wanders the memories and stirs the leaves there

  10. Amzel
    July 24, 2009 at 7:06 am

    Soft and expressive… memories are like that. Loved it.

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