poem: desert sky circles

desert sky circles:
sunset’s red rainbow beckons
as the moon rises
Lost in the desert, Throws-his-words and Fierce Cat heed Raven’s sign, a red rainbow surrounding the rising full moon, that leads them to water. The haiku is how I would write it; here is Throws-his-word’s song:
In the land of hard stones,
In the land of painted giants,
In the land of angry trees,
In the land of parched lips,Raven, where is the laughing grass?
Raven, where are the sleeping trees?
Raven, where are the deer and the buffalo?
Raven, where are the singing streams?“Wait for the sunset”, Raven whispers.
“Wait for the moonrise”, Raven whispers.
“Look me in the eye”, Raven whispers.
“See what I see and come to me.”
I linked this poem to the readwritepoem blog, where there is a weekly poetry “prompt” inviting people to submit poems on a new theme each week. This week’s theme was collaborative, to write a poem using the first line donated from another poet’s poem. I selected my line from a lovely poem by jone.
(You can read other poets’ submissions on the theme at the readwritepoem blog too. By the way, red rainbows are a real phenomenon, and the one Nancy and I saw during a neighborhood walk last weekend was the inspiration for this poem.)
As part of the prompt, I also donated the first line of one of my own poems, and I was delighted to see how other poets took it and made it their own. Check them out!
I like “sunset’s red rainbow” , it sounds well and it’s making me think..
I love this, especially the way that prose section ties the two poems together. There’s a wonderfully mythic thing going on here too. The way the first words of each line in the last stanza combine(wait-wait-look-see) is wonderful.
In an odd coincidence, my RWP poem this week is also about being lost and desperate for water.
I love the combination of the two poems. Thank you for using my first line. Funny but I selected a first line from the prompt list and then discovered who’s first line it was!
Wonderful image.These lines are very good
desert sky circles:
sunset’s red rainbow beckons
as the moon rises
I love the connection between the haiku and “song.” “In the land of angry trees/In the land of parched lips”–these images are so stark and striking.
Love the picture and haiku together!
Great haiku; the fact that you’ve seen red rainbows gives the verse such honesty.
Beautiful haiku!
over the ridge and hard planes
I love the Native theme. It seems to have gotten lost unless you look for it nowdays. And I agree with the other person. Knowing you’ve SEEN A red rainbow gives the poem power and believability.
Thank you for sharing this with us!
Oops! Forgot to leave the link to my poem :os. Sorry for the double post.
http://bostonsdandd.multiply.com/journal/item/266
Wonderfully done, I really like the last line of the song, ’see what I see and come to me’ which leads to a natural repeat from the top down.
Agree with the above comments. I especially love the last line of the song and I think the haiku and the song complement each other. Like looking at the same thing through different lenses.
-Nicole